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SuperMum – Take 2

Clare A., Invercargill.
4 April 2001

This is my life. Living with the Chronic Pain and Fatigue syndrome: "Fibromyalgia" or FMS for short. I used to be an extremely busy "supermum" type of person. Working part time, caring for family, involved with several PTA’s and volunteer groups. Always rushing around - so much to do and not enough hours. Always giving others 110% but subconsciously neglecting myself.

After a series of relatively minor accidents and falls, I degenerated within a few months into someone who was more like 90 than 37. I could barely walk, my body racked with pain, couldn’t sleep, felt like a truck had run over me, flu like, brain fog, barely able to function, feeling useless, hopeless and depressed.

Luckily for me, after a long hard road, I am happy to say that while I am not cured - There is No Cure - I am however, living a pretty normal and happy life, able to do almost anything I desire.

The alarm clock beeps incessantly. I reluctantly try to turn over to kill its piercing sound, but "Oh, the pain! Get that truck off me!" As I groggily awake, disbelieving that it is morning already, I’m somewhat disheartened that the pain, the flu-like feeling and fatigue have not disappeared.

I start my morning ritual. The Electric blanket is still on. I’d turned it on around 5a.m. when the pain became unbearable, taken some pain relief and dozed off again. Every moment of rest is treasured these days1

Slowly, I begin to stretch and then relax every part of my body, working methodically, breathing slowly and deeply until the pain has diminished enough for me to get out of bed. Very slowly, another ritual of stretches before I can stumble to the bathroom for my very-necessary, hot shower. Now I am warm and more mobile. Relief. I am ready to start my day. ( Only 20 mins have passed - I’m getting better at this!). Next it is medications to be taken and start breakfast for the family.

Once the children have been seen off at the gate, it is time for a quiet cup of tea to plan my day. A time schedule is made out. Still a very necessary tool for me to use to ensure that my day is manageable and balanced so I hopefully won't flare up.

  • 9 - 9.30am       Cup of tea and plan the day/ prioritize goals/ make any phone calls.
  • 9.30 - 10am     Start on the housework. Make bed/ put washing on/ plan tonight’s meal.
  • 10 - 10.30am   Stretches and exercise session

  • 10.30 -11.30am     Continue Housework/ hang out washing/ prepare veges
  • 11.30 - 12midday   Go for walk

  • 12 - 1pm     Lunch and a craft or recreation activity (today it is cross stitch)

  • 1 - 1.30pm   Ironing/ dinner preparation/ other jobs
  • 1.30 – 2pm   Relaxation session - today I’ll lie on the lounge floor and
    listen to some music: "Yanni" with deep breathing exercises.
  • 2 – 3pm         Town for messages/ 1/2 hr gardening / other jobs on my ‘’To Do’ list

  • 3 - 3.30pm     Walk

  • 3.30 - 5.30pm   Spend time with children/ afternoon tea/ homework/ cook tea

  • 6 – 7pm           Yoga - (class - once a week / home practice - other 5 days)
  • By 8.30 pm   the youngest child is in bed and the older two are into more homework. I can catch up with my husband - we try to go out to the movies or for a meal once a week. It is so important for our relationship, especially nowadays.

    •

    My life may not seem very busy or full, but I get most things done as long as I stick to the rules. Sure, some days just don’t work out. Some days I am very tired and sore and not a lot gets done, but that’s O.K. Tomorrow is another day. I’ll adjust, and get back on track gradually.

    The Challenges of Self-Management.

    I have learnt Acceptance - of where I am now and what I can do now - not what I used to do.
    I have learnt to use Planning - setting realistic goals;
    Job Simplification and problem solving skills;
    Pacing - taking lots of micropauses to check on body tension and stress;
    Awareness - of my body and how it reacts consciously and subconsciously to stresses;
    Relaxation techniques used throughout the day (from 30 seconds in the car, 2min pick me ups, and ½ hour full relaxation sessions).

    Most important is the Power of Positive Thinking;
    the importance of Recreation - making time for me and things I enjoy doing;
    Knowledge – I keep reading – books make an exciting but relaxing world;
    Trial and error - keep trying new things – finding out what helps me - what stirs things up;
    Exercise -gentle stretches and a plan that gradually challenges me and my fitness.
     
    Top of my list, the utmost, is - Be Kind to Myself.

    Adapting to these challenges means I am gradually extending my boundaries, along with a caring and patient G.P., the support from my husband, family and close friends, and the Arthritis Foundation who have been a great support to me. These days,I am leading a more happy and productive life.

    These days I am living life to the full (with care) and enjoying being ME.

    For these lovely words of wisdom, which can be of assistance to many of us,
    we are indebted to Clare A. of Invercargill. Thank you Clare – Ed.

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