A Letter from Zanne - 3
Saturday, August 25, 2001

Apologies to you all for failing to write another article for the website. My life has been - how can I put it? - like a nightmare, which would just about sum it up. However, I have learnt such a lot over these months.

My husband was sent home from the hospital at the end of April as a sound fit man but that was a load of codswallop as he was dying from Messotheliomia. Since April he has gone steadily down and down in health and is now on oxygen and steroids. He does nothing at all but can still manage to dress himself. I do not wish to go into details because there is far more to this than meets the eye and I am trying to learn all I can and understand the lessons I am learning.

I am exhausted and my Fibro is quite dreadful. I went to see D.J. yesterday and all he could do was to give me a big hug. To see him did me so much good. I am so tired and I hurt all over and of course the overbalancing and tripping forward, that is happening to me just now is scary to say the least. I think it would be a good thing to list what I have learnt rather than recount what has happened so here goes.

No I. Try to rest as much as possible.

No 2. Keep interested, and find something new to do.

No 3. I was given a spinning wheel and that fills my mind other than watching T die.

No 4. Have gone back to art classes again which I love.

No 5. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE: When someone says to you "and how is T?" just say "he is dying" and in the future, remember never ever to tell the other person how Uncle George died, or Auntie Mary. One's grief is so acute. I do not care how other people died. I have enough to cope with and that is such a big lesson I have learnt. Just say, "Thank you for asking" and leave it at that.

If the person who is inquiring has not nursed a dying person, then they do not have a clue and cannot possibly understand what it is like.

I cry so easily when T is unkind to me because the steroids change people's personality and it is difficult for them, for they are unaware of what they are doing.

I will tell you more of how to handle this very trying time, next time I write to you. It might come in useful when it is your turn. I nurse my fibro - 'beastly thing' - and I quite hate it. All I can do is to ask Jesus to help me all the time but as my Dad always told me, "This too will pass"

Your exhausted one eyed Sue.

Zanne

Thanx Zanne - This is a testing and difficult time for you. Each one of us sends our thoughts to give you strength. - Ed.