I was reflecting the other night on the last few years I've spent learning to live with fibromyalgia. I was diagnosed five years ago, when I was a junior in high school. Only in the last two years have I learned to cope with the symptoms. Coping, to me, is being able to live a relatively normal life—by now, the routines I've developed to keep myself healthy have become habit, and my treatment is as natural as breathing. Rarely do I feel "sick" anymore. Of course, I still have bad days and weeks…… and probably always will. But during the other times, I live a fairly "normal" life.

Most everyone with fibromyalgia can probably relate with the frustrations I've encountered in relationships--particularly romantic ones. It's difficult enough for us to learn to cope with the symptoms--much less for someone else to understand our brain fog and pain they can't see. I've been very lucky to find a partner who is learning not only to cope with me--but also to help me when I need help.

I don't want to be smothered by your worries... and I don't want you to not care. I want you to watch and learn about me….to be perceptive about what the signs are that I'm having a flare up because I won't always tell you that I'm hurting. I've learned to tune out a lot of the pain, but that takes a great deal of energy, and when I'm spending so much time tuning out pain, I may not have much energy left to be civil. If you take the time, you can learn the signs that I'm having a bad day. Those are the times that I need your help and your patience. I don't expect you to sit there and take my crank without reaction--but know that I'm not angry at you...that I'm just cranky and tired and it will go away.

I am capable…. and I don't always need help. But there are days when it'd be really nice if you opened the can of olives.

I know it's difficult--but can you try not to remind me that my brain is foggy sometimes? When you remind me to take my medication, or to lock the door, that's wonderful. I usually remember those things so I don't feel as stupid when you remind me. But when l repeat myself, isn't it just as easy to just keep it to yourself? I know it's a challenge. l know it's unnatural. But it might help me feel a little less like I'm losing my mind.